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Letters From NDH Readers Thoughts on staying at Prana When I walked in the door I wanted to fall to my knees and kiss the floor and cry. Everyone was gracious, kind, caring. My room was perfect. The gardens are beautiful, different scents of roses, birds,chattering nesting hummingbird flitting by. Sun warms me as I sit and write a letter to a friend a minister comes out from the dining room to see if I am ok, kind words are spoken. In the kitchen we sit and talk about what the future can hold and how lucky I am to be here now. This moment the teapot whistles adding to the sounds of the Polish Church celebration singing chanting traditional costumes out our kitchen window.( I especially like the red leather boots). Evening family comes in from a movie, snacking on meal leftovers and ice cream. The smell of chocolate comes from the kitchen brownies are ready there’s a celebration that occurs as two people have completed the second year Masters (class) brownie crumbs indicate Joy and Accomplishment. I help with the house laundry to ease the load on other family. I am happy to help. I have roses in my room, photos of my children and the Travelers. I remember how lucky I am. I thank God for this time to be in this very special place a holy place an active home a base camp of loving. My church, my home, my family. M.B. Dear J-R, I want to thank you for the gifts I have discovered in my life through so many of the organizations you have founded. Ever since participating in Insight I back in 1986 my life has been enriched. Most recently I am completing the Spiritual Psychology Master's degree at the University of Santa Monica. I feel such gratitude for the beauty and depth of what this program teaches. In your role as chancellor and founder of USM, I want to express how profound I have found the experience of being a student at USM. I am licensed as a psychotherapist, but with what USM has taught me my life and practice are greatly deepened and enhanced. The concept of personal responsibility that permeates all your teachings is empowering beyond belief. Thank you for Insight, MSIA, PTS, USM, and all the rest! I am grateful to you beyond words. J. E-G. Dear J-R, Thank you so much for sending the beautiful plant upon finding out that my mom transitioned. I was surprised to receive it and felt very supported and loved by your generosity. I am very grateful for the support I received from the MSIA community in terms of my relationship with my Mom. My Mom and I struggled in our relationship together. Our interests, focus and style were different, and most importantly, for many years, I was not ready to receive my Mom's love in the way she expressed it. As such, I didn't know how to share my love in a way that she would receive it. About 1-1/2 years ago, I wrote you a letter and you gave me a response about loving her as a Soul that is already perfect. I don't remember the exact words, but the essence of your message let me know that there was a shift I needed to make inside which has been my intention ever since. (I have found that I can understand the meaning of your words without understanding how to make the inner shift necessary for integrating your words.) At the very least, I knew that I had to stop expecting her to change. Even if I wasn't expressing that desire in my conversations with her, my energy was still conveying my judgement. Your response to me helped a lot and began my process of transformation. In taking the 3rd year of USM on Health and Healing, my Mom was my relationship project. Even though I didn't complete the class, I did follow through with my Mom. As a result, I responded to her request of phoning her more by speaking with her almost every day. At first, this felt like an obligation, however, as time passed my relationship with her shifted to become more friendly and loving. I truly enjoyed calling her and connecting with her. Instead of judging her for her cutting sarcasm and put-downs, I finally understood that this was her way of connecting with me, and her way of communicating her love to me. Wow, was this a revelation. I won't go into the self-judgement I felt upon missing this awareness for so many years. . . . I did do a lot of self-forgiveness on this one. Needless to say, we had a lightness that I hadn't experienced with her for over thirty years. Also, our fighting stopped. Still, I felt a barrier between us, or should I say a wall in my own consciousness that prevented me from fully loving her in a way that felt clear. I couldn't describe it, because it was subtle in my energy, but I knew it existed. This past year I took the first year of the PTS Master's Class in Theology. During the weekends there is a process called Clearing the Body that involves muscle-testing and forgiveness. I have found it to repeatedly be the most powerful processes for me. I don't really understand it, but won't deny its power. Anyway, early in the year, my arm went weak on something related to my Mom. I don't even remember what it was. I did self-forgiveness, and felt something lift from inside my body. I cannot adequately describe the experience, but I knew my relationship with my Mom would be changed forever. And, it was. I felt such loving and appreciation for my Mom. I enjoyed talking with her, joking with her, expressing my love openly to her and just being with her. I was as open with my Mom as I remember being with her as a young child, before my beliefs, attitude and judgements got in the way of our loving relationship. To this day, I still don't understand the specific block that was there, but I am forever grateful that the "healing" took place. My emotional intention is openly receiving, and this too made a difference, because I was also able to open up myself to receive my Mom's love in a deep and significant way. Thank you a million times for this blessing. When my Mom went into the hospital this last time (Thursday), I was told that she would need hospice care. She just couldn't breathe any more. Each breath was a struggle. I was prepared for her passing within the next few weeks or month. While in the hospital, I stayed with her from morning until night. For the first time, we didn't watch TV together, but just talked with one another, joked with one another and sat together. Many times, I would just sit calling in the Light and chant my tone. She was asleep most of the time. Many times while I was chanting my tone or calling in the Light (always silently), she would raise her eyebrows or even open her eyes wide, looking at the ceiling for a few moments and then go back to sleep. Sometimes, I would call her name to talk with her. Many times, she would open her eyes big, look at me and say loudly "who are you?" and then close her eyes. (She got me the first time she did this.) She was always kidding and teasing. On Saturday, I decided to spend the night with her. I had a cot in the room. I would go to bed, do SE's and then fall asleep for about forty-five minutes or an hour and then get up to hold her hand, send Light and do SE's sitting next to her. Then, after about twenty minutes to a half-hour I would go back to my cot to repeat the process. This process lasted until 3:30 a.m. This time, when I felt her hand, I got that she wasn't in her body in the same way, and yet there was a part of her holding on. (Is this possible?... can you explain this?) Note from J-R: It is often the basic self that holds on when most of the rest of the consciousness has left the body at the time of transition, as it is the basic self's job to maintain the body and it does that until the Soul and high self give the "okay" that it's time to go entirely. I decided to tell her about all the times I appreciated that she was there for me... from being a young boy to current day. I expressed my love to her again as I had done so many times during the past six months and in the hospital. I also said to her that it was time for her to go... to go back to God. I was going to hold her hand the rest of the night, but decided that holding her hand was reinforcing her being in her body rather than letting her go. (I needed to remind myself that she was not her body.) I called in the Light, chanted my tone and went back to my cot where I called in the Light again, did se's and fell asleep. I woke up at 4:20 a.m. to find her at peace on the other side of her transition. J-R, I felt that I was part of my Mom's transition. If nothing else, I was glad to be with my Mom during her last days in the hospital—holding for her so consistently. Actually, for the first time in the hospital, it was effortless. . . . I loved being with her. The experience of my Mom's transition was a blessing for me. Thank you again for all of the loving support and guidance you provided through your teachings, your letters, USM and PTS. M.S. Dear J-R, I am stunned at the difference in my life experience when I am not serving. Life is so much richer and more meaningful for me when I am actively involved in service. I really don't know how to express my love and gratitude for you and the light and the love you give me. Thank you for allowing me to serve this church. It has changed my life in profound ways. The joy I receive, and the blessings that I receive in service are incalculable. There were days when I was working on [my project for Conference] that I thought that if I wasn't doing what I was doing at Prana that I would have no peace inside of me. The service gave me an outlet for my loving and my devotion and I have received back more loving that I ever expected. I am excited about starting a new service project." R.Z. Dear J-R, I'm writing you this letter for a balancing action between my parents and I. Here's how it went. A couple of weeks ago, a few of my friends and I were throwing water-bottles around in class, and we were sent to the principal's office and were each given a demerit. Now, my parents and I had made a previous agreement that every time I got a demerit, we would deal with it. Now four weeks later, I tell my mom and she is surprised because she thought that I would tell her right away when it happened. So she asked for a balancing action. So we came up with the idea for me to write to you. What I learned from this experience is that my parents love me no matter what and it's always okay (and mandatory) to tell them what happens at school. Wow, I feel better already! Thanx. L.S. From an MSIA Staff member: Dear J-R & John, A woman called today [who had come] with an MSIA friend to the Forgiveness evening last Thursday in San Francisco. On Sunday she went to a service at a Catholic Church, and on the way out picked up a periodical that happened to be the New Day Herald! She read it, loved it and was amazed to come across it there at a Catholic Church just a few days after the event she went to. She thought it was some kind of sign and is signing up on Discourses. She is very enthusiastic and excited to get the Discourses ASAP which I'm sending out to her. She asked how the New Day Herald wound up at a Catholic Church, and I said someone must have left it there because we usually don't send things out to churches! Just thought I'd pass this one along. Pretty neat stuff. The Traveler works in mysterious ways. Much love to you both, G.B. Dear J-R: Aloha from Kauai. In my S.E.’s this morning I got to write the following to you: A number of years ago I was entering information about my child abuse into my book. During the session, I felt pain in my joints. The following weeks found me so crippled I couldn’t work and the pain seemed endless. Shortly thereafter, I was in California interviewing an old spiritual teacher, Baba Hari Dass for another book I’m writing and while waiting I opened one of his books. The passage stated: “while remembering childhood abuse, be careful not to anchor it in your joints.” When I returned home I wrote you with the above information and your reply was to forgive the abusers with an attitude of “forgive them father they know not what they did.” And if l couldn’t, to ask Jesus to forgive them for me. I have come to honestly love my mother and it was to forgive her. So every night for a few weeks prior to sleep I forgave my Mom. The pain in my joints subsided a bit and the third week spirit told me to go back to any lifetime that I was either the giver or receiver of abuse and forgive myself. Not attempting to remember specific abuse, just forgiving it all. Then I heard the affirmation: I forgive myself for any Karma, Negativity, Judgement or Imbalance that I have created in any lifetime that is related to child abuse and is causing pain in my joints. I forgive everyone involved. Every night for a few more weeks I would chant the above, sometimes weeping the entire time. In less than a month I was pain free and remain so to this day. Now I use this affirmation every day in whatever areas I’m working. Like the arthritis in my lower back, the pain in my neck, my finances, whatever. I just change the last part. I also give it to all my private practice clients for them to move through karmic patterns. They also see wonderful positive results. There’s probably nothing new here, just a variation on many of your themes. If it’s appropriate to share this with the MSIA world, please be my guest. I am so grateful for all you have given me, I am so rich for having known you. I love you, God bless you, B.W. |
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